Speaking of Voice

It seems that SL with voice is the latest buzz. I have thus far avoided it, and unless someone gives me good reason, I'll probably continue to to so. Don't get me wrong, I can understand the attraction: it potentially provides an additional depth to the way we interact in a digitally flattened world. A popular video parodies this single dimensionality well. Brillaintly funny, to me the most striking feature of the video is how free of aural clutter it is, the opposite of our real lives. And honestly, so much of Second life seems empty for this reason, even when you are surrounded by other avatars.

The problem I have is two-fold. First, Voice in SL inherently breaks the "secondness" of SL. Second Life is, for many, an escape from our various realities, and quite frankly, I'm not sure I want your voice echoing in my study. That might be too real. No offense, but I've assigned voices for all of you, and in some ways, I don't want to be disappointed. More on this point is spoken of in this Wired article (thanks Trinsic!).

The second, oft-overlooked problem with Voice are the very things that people crave: its ease and immediacy. Text chat is cumbersome. It takes time to get your ideas across. As a result, chatters generally have to embrace both efficiency and thoughtfulness to get their thoughts across effectively. For example, you don't see a whole lot of swearing in SL chat because for most people, swearing is just posturing or wasted breath. Sure, there are places where the language is more mature than others, but you don't get cases where every word typed by someone is "fuck" or some derivative. People are typically more careful about what they say because it takes more work to say it.

On top of that, I think people actually "listen" more in text chat. I can't actually state this from any position of experience regarding SL Voice, but contrasted with real life, it seems like people actually pay attention to whatever is typed. Maybe its because the written word carries so much weight for us. Or maybe because we carefully read type for subtle nuances, as it is devoid of the overt tonal emotional content of speech. Or maybe simply because you can go back and re-read text you might have missed or misunderstood on the first pass. In any case, when typing, it's nice to know that people actually hear me.

Stepping Out

I logged into the second world today for the first time in ages. Kieres mentioned a few weeks ago that he was retreating to the real world for a while. I've done the same, though not announced such till now. It wasn't a fully intentional disappearing act. Work has gathered a stranglehold on my life in the past month, company has come and gone, and little opportunities and mishaps have sprung up the way mushrooms do: with delicate beauty and just a little of that unsettling creepiness.

I logged on tonight mostly because I want to be alone but don't want to suffer loneliness. An odd thing to expect from SL, I guess, but it's true. My real space is filled with my peace, my cat, and my music, and yet still I can enjoy a connection to others (but still be able to cut it off with a mouse-click). Meh, I'm in a mood.

Anyhow, a few weeks away and the neighborhood goes to hell. "For Sale" signs spin everywhere. The good news is that I can see the water from my balcony again. The joys of SLurban blight.

Guess I'll wander for a bit. IM me if you're in the mood for a chat. Might be tormenting the cat though, so if I don't respond, don't take it personally.

Not-A-Meme Challenge #14

Dolmere Talamasca asks:

Today's not-a-meme challenge is a question about your usage patterns. This could be things you do when you login, things you do just before logging out, activities bordering on OCD, etc :)

"Do you have any Second Life usage habits?"

The first thing I always do is check to see who else is online. I don't always start an IM with others, but its nice to know I'm not alone.

The Second thing that I do is get dressed. I'm not sure why, but I refuse to let my avi wear the same thing twice in a row. When dressing, I usually try to pick something which reflects my mood and what I hope to be doing. Sometimes this is an easy process, accomplished quickly. My inventory is pretty well organized so I know where to find things usually. Unfortunately, I'm also indecisive as hell and I can easily spend half an hour just figuring out what shoes to wear.

The worst thing about this is that it fuels my SL shopping habit, because I often find that I don't have exactly the right shade of top to wear with the skirt. So it's off to the stores and ooooh look, they have a new dress on sale.

The sad thing is that there really isn't much variety in the way I dress.

The Other End of the Spectrum

Recently I've mentioned a few stores that are worthy of note not only for the products they carry, but also for the design of the space they use. All of them are highly polished, and despite their contrivance, they feel like places I'd like to visit in Real Life. In fact, they feel like places I have visited in RL.

On a whim, I decided to re-check out Unpopular Designs, run by Gabby Lime. Unpop is the origin of both my avi's glasses and my all-time favorite skirt, and I really like the unpredictably eclectic selection of clothes and accessories. While I was there I ran into Gabby, and she pointed me to her other shop, Tacky Shit.

Oh wow. Ms. Lime is a master of prim-work, but that's not what makes Tacky Shit amazing. Prim-wise, it's beyond simple. It's the textures that are frightening. Stepping into the building made me feel like stepping into a Neil Gaiman short story. The hand-drawn (scribbled might be a better word) doodles on notebook paper which make the walls and floor show more life than any Photoshopped version of reality. And looking out the front window is like looking upon the world not just through a child's eyes, but from his mind. Everything about the place takes me to the edge of... something, I'm not sure what. And I stare down into that depth without ever quite being pushed over, but wanting to be, all the same.

It makes me think that perhaps too much of Second Life tries to emulate our First ones.

Aly Revealed

Vint Falken has posted Not-A-Meme challenge #13, and as my friend Coyote so cleverly intuited, it is one that catches my attention. It's a two part challenge; the first part is to reveal something about my second self, and the second part is to reveal something about my first self. It's a very yin-yang sort of thing.

This assumes, of course, that there is a difference between the two. I sometimes wonder. Are we not but two faces on that which is Aly? My first life shapes my second. For example, I usually wear glasses in both. Though my Avatar presumably has 20/20 vision, she dons spectacles also in an expression of solidarity with her RL counterpart. And of course, my second life seems to shape my first, if by no other means than the sleep that I am deprived by my avi hanging around the Shelter until the wee hours. We are linked.

But distinct. I sometimes refer to my avatar in the 3rd person, as it is natural to do using the "/me" feature in chat. Speaking this way is not something I do in real life. Alyia dares to wear clothes that I would not. Some of her skirts are a tad shorter than I'd be comfortable walking around in, and exploring the world in high heels is definitely not something I'd do on a regular basis. She just makes it soooo effortless. Alyia's a graceful dancer and has better hair.

So what is a secret about this Alyia Coanda, a girl whose self proclaimed mission is to explore her world? She owns a motorcycle. I suppose this isn't a secret to some people, as apparently I've become a t-shirt posterchild for catsuit coolness.* But it's not something I generally tell people.

It's not that there's anything wrong with it. People buy things all the time, and this really is no different. I've even been assured that it is a beautiful bike and that she looks, well, damn good on it. The reasoning for the purchase was arguably legitimate: I bought it as a means to explore large areas of SL (though this hasn't worked terribly well due to the laggy nature of many sims). So neither I nor Alyia have reason to be embarrassed. Except that it is so ridiculously indulgent since I can simply fly and teleport where ever I want. But so can everyone else. Not everyone rides a cool black motorcycle around Second Life.

Admittedly, I bought the bike to look cool while I explore.

As for my First Life? This, as others who have taken the challenge have noted, is perhaps more difficult. For me the challenge doesn't really come out of some desire to be someone other than who I am. I wouldn't say that I necessarily try to keep my second and first lives separate; I'll respond to most questions if asked. The challenge is that I have a hard time believing that anything about my first life would be remotely interesting to anyone.

The most interesting thing about myself that I can think of is that I am full of contradictions, and that I relish them. Watch out. I am shy, but a shameless flirt. Other people annoy me, but I dislike being alone. I walk innocently, but my thoughts play in the gutter. I love the person I am, but I'm never satisfied with what I have become. Like a cat I reserve the right to change my mind a thousand times.

I don't think of myself as confused. Rather, I am right at home.

*Ask Coyote Pace.

Second Thoughts on Sale!

Another reason that I find some of the SL merchants interesting is that their spaces are more dynamic than many of the parks. Part of that is due to the shifting nature of the merchandise, but it seems that sellers are more attuned to constantly tweaking or updating their spaces to provide the most attractive or attention-capturing store. It's to be expected, really.

Unfortunately, many of the locations in Second Life are quite static, and this, of course, makes them uninteresting. We're used to living in an ever-changing world, and if it were to stop changing, it would be unusual. Downright disconcerting. So despite the virtual three-dimensionality of Second Life much of it ends up being flat.

I'm not talking about big changes here; they can be subtle, even repetitive. Something to give places a pulse. It never rains in Second Life, the leaves never fall. It's like an idealized Hollywood.

On a less philosophical note, I found a working swingset. I'm sure it's not the only one in Second Life, but it's the first one I encountered. It's in a skatepark behind the Wrong store in Alternation. Wrong has always been a favorite not only for its simple, Gap-like fashions, but also for the clean, unencumbered layout of its store. This makes it easy to scan for and find products. The store is beautiful in a functional way.

And Now a Word from Our Sponsors

I'm not actually being paid to write this, though I probably ought to be. Maybe word will get back to some store owner and I'll get a free sample or two by way of thanks (hint, hint).

I have to confess, first of all, that I do my part to keep the American economy strong. Yes, I do like to buy things. And while I wouldn't consider myself a shopaholic--compared to some women (and men!) I know I'm practically an ascetic--I do like to trade my wealth for shiny (and sometimes not so shiny) things. There's something exciting in the search and discovery. Something indulgently daring in the transaction. And when the price and item are right, the moment can be (I admit) fleetingly orgasmic. I don't expect you to understand. I don't understand it. I hate waste, and so much of what is out there is simply waste.

I hate shopping malls for this reason. Department stores are only a lesser evil. Mostly, it's the wastefulness, but I deplore crowds and parking lots also, and such venues involve both. Often it's the parking lots that are crowded, forcing me to park at the bottom of the least shaded hill in the area, at least a mile from any usable entrance. Malls would be much better if they were only built for me.

When I first found myself in second spaces, I was immediately drawn to the shopping opportunities it provided. It was a fresh field, full of creativity and innovation. Finding something wearable amidst all the slut-wear was an acceptable level of challenge. Even the lag and the occasional crashed sim were far better than a long wait at the cash register behind a pack of mall rats.

Now that I've built up my artificial wardrobe, however, I don't have the pressing need to buy things. I still get ideas for things my avi "needs," but truthfully I've got enough digi-wear to cloth myself for weeks without having to wear the same thing twice. Now I find myself being a bit more selective when I go shopping. If I'm going to buy someone else's stuff, it had better look good on me.

Moreover, I find that I'm more likely to stick around (and come back to) those places that are memorable or moving. Naturally, the final word in an avi-cessory is its quality. But increasingly I find myself equally interested in the quality of the space that the thing is sold in. What effect this has on my likelihood of actually buying something is not something I know. I'm also not really sure what exactly makes up a good space; I just know that it resonates with me somehow.

This isn't about the fashions these stores promote; there's plenty written about that elsewhere. Here are some of my recent favorite shopping places:

• Luminosity: There's so much I like about this space. The wood and stone textures are warm and inviting, suggesting more backstory than this personal island could possibly have. Angles, arches, and transparency combine to create an open space that has an approachable scale. I hate having to fly to browse a store's wares. Instead, here I can wander from corner to corner, each a semi-intimate nook, admiring the clothing without feeling I'm in anyone else's way. An incongruous selection of posters (butterflies and... Elvis!) break up the spaces between the for-sale objects. Also, it bears mention that this is one of the few stores where I've actually sat down on the benches provided. They call out to be used, rather than an afterthought that you have to walk around. You do have to your step, however: there's a virtual Roomba!
• Casa del Shai: This is a smaller store on the Mainland, which is a respectable acheivement, considering how that limits the control a designer has over the space as well as the area surrounding it. Again, the wood textures throughout the store draw me in. I like that there are separate men's and women's sections--it makes it easier to find what you're looking for. What I like best, however, is the fact that this store is small. Standing in the entrance, I can take in just about the entire line at a glance. Stores don't need to be big to sell a wide range of material. Casa del Shai is proof of that.

...to be continued...

Aly Time

February has been a crazy month for me in that other game we call life. As a result I'm going to be away for a few days to recharge my spirit, without computer access, if I can help it.

It just dawned on me that the SL world is flat. Columbus would have been screwed.

A New Discovery...

I visited The Lost Gardens of Apollo upon the recommendation of a friend, and it is another delightful find. It's exquisitely constructed in a sort of Persian style natural garden rather than Hellenistic as the name would imply (but it's not an important detail). The craftsmanship here is top notch and is definitely a place you could relax, reflect, or carry on a quiet conversation. There's a good mix of public and semi-private spaces, which leaves open the possibility (or not) for interactions with other people.

Wandering around the island, I began to wonder about the notion of personal space as it exists here in SL. I encountered others, and unless I was talking to them, I noticed that I kept my distance, as much out of social habit, I guess, as anything else. But how close is too close, I wonder?

Does our need for personal space derive from our need for emotional spaces? There seems to be a connection. I know that when I want mental quiet, I gravitate towards those places that are less likely to be full of people, places where I won't be intruded upon.

It would be an interesting experiment to just go up to random people and park your avatar right next to theirs and see their reaction.

It's all in your head.

We can't replace our real lives with our second ones yet. It seems obvious, but I became aware of this in the past few weeks as RL work, RL deadlines, RL people, RL play, and RL drama kept me out of their SL counterparts. Even if I wanted to submerge into the virtual sea, I couldn't. SL doesn't put food in my mouth. The heat from the laptop isn't the same as the warmth of a lover's touch. I can't smell the rain or diesel exhaust.

A laggy sim and a nagging mother are about an even trade, however.

Anyway, the primary has taken over the secondary, and so I've been absent. Subsequently, my initial quest has ground to a halt, but it hasn't been fruitless. Just the other day, while sitting in a sim thinking about what to write for this blog I met another person on her own mission: she was photographing birds she found. I can't tell you how excited I was by this.

It's not that I'm interested in birds at all. In RL as well as SL, they are simply part of the landscape to me. Honestly, I pay more attention to rocks than I do birds. But this individual's self-imposed quest is beautiful because it defies the system. She's making her own rules. One might respond, "Well, that's the beauty of SL. You can make your own rules." That's true of life, too, but how many of us actually do that? The set rules of Second Life seem to be:

1. Make an avatar
2. Make some friends
3. Buy some land
4. Make/design something

These are the things you're supposed to do. As Kieres said in a comment to the previous post, if you are the sort of person who doesn't do these things, SL can be quite empty. Certainly there are friendships, but what grounds the self in such an ever-mutating world? What actually are you befriending? If there's no sense of purpose behind the avatar, then any relationship hardly seems substantive.

Real Life beckons, but this seems to part of a discussion taking place here, too. Who are we? More to the point, why are we?

And yes, mom, I'm okay, even though I haven't called in a week.

A Second Start

I'm nearly four months old; no longer newbish, but still a far cry from being anybody of consequence. I've befriended a few people, bought more digi-wear than a fashion-driven emperor, and even tried my virtual hand at a bit of design. I find myself at a bit of a crossroads, but that's not quite right. It's not the right metaphor, since it implies a both flat dimensionality to the experience, and that there is, should I choose, a way back to my origin, the place I lived before I ever had a Second Life.

But there isn't, is there? I could simply leave, but that's not the same thing. Second Life, due to its sheer interactiveness isn't just a book, movie, or even video game. It's not even a proper simulator insofar as I understand the notion.

But it's not life, either. At least not as we understand it. So I'm left adrift. Treading water, so to speak. I haven't got a direction, and so the currents just pull me. I suspect I'm caught in a bit of an eddy, but I don't have enough perspective to know that for certain.

So I'm drifting. I stumbled across a web article which lists the top 20 places to visit in SL. Im usually morally opposed to the tourist traps, preferring instead to discover my own. It's not exactly a list of the wonders of the second world, but it seems like a reasonable place to start looking for... whatever it is I'm hoping to find. Maybe I'll find gateways to greater discoveries.

1. Black Library: Doesn't seem to exist. Not a good start.
   
2. Dragon Moon Resort: A quiet place with lots of, um, dragons. A sort of plastic Jurassic Park, Bermuda-style. Other than the mythological models (which are well done) it seems to be typical tropical island fare, with beaches, waterfalls, birds, undersea life, and lots of foliage. Of course there's lots of places to sit and enjoy the scene in contemplation alone or with friends. The music didn't add anything to the experience, and I was disappointed that there wasn't any room to actually take the jet-ski for a spin. On the flip side, the scuba diving was kind of interesting, if only for novelty's sake. It's all nice, but I can't help but feel the place is a bit contrived. Dragons and beaches just don't inhabit the same world in my mind, though I suppose they could. Even dragons need a holiday I suppose.
3. The Cliffs of BonnyDoon: Also MIA. Ah, the transience of the online world.
4. Galaxy: Trekkie heaven. Under construction. What I saw looked like Star Trek.. but what do I know? The effect was lost on me, but not on the folks in the sim, who were taking it very seriously. All it needed was some Klingon griefers to complete the scene.
   
5. Gris-Gris Land: Gone gone.
6. Intermundia: Exists, but also under construction.
7. Little Silent Hill: (in Braunworth) I confess that I have less interest and knowledge about Silent Hill (it's a game, right?) than I do about Star Trek, and this place did nothing to stimulate me. It might be impressive, but I don't know. The neighboring infohub provided more entertainment value.
   
8. Mars Japanese Gardens: (in Albion) Now this is a worthwhile visit. It is a thoughtful garden nestled into a small valley, and it feels... safe. Is any part of SL unsafe? I certainly don't feel like anyone is assaulting me for L$, or propositioning me for cybersex. I've been sitting here, unmolested for the better part of a half hour watching the sun sink into the water (sunset seems to be the best time to visit). There is an organic orderliness to the space, inviting reflection and peace. Odd to find in a digital space. I feel transported, a feeling simiar to when I played the original Myst game (years ago!) and the room had darkened so that it was simply me and the virtual world. Me in the virtual world. I suspect that my avatar wants to do yoga, but lacking the requisite animations, she'll have to just sit quietly and reflect on the nature of her reality. Meanwhile, Second Life becomes Real Life. I am scared, but breathing.