Body Shapes and Proportion

I've been tinkering with my shape. Again. I'm not sure why, but I've spent a ridiculous amount of time tweaking sliders. Do other people do this? I dunno.

Anyway, one thing that has bugged me for a very long time about SL is how hard it is to create a good looking avatar. A lot of the difficulty comes from the way that the SL interface is designed, but it's also due to the limitations of the model that SL uses as well as how the 3D engine renders that model. I'm not saying Linden Labs did a bad job, because 3D modeling is complex. They did make choices, however, and not all of those choices were to optimize the user experience.

One of the first choices that becomes apparent is that the "default" avatar is SL's own stylization of a human figure. Legs and bodies tend to be taller in relation to the head, and prominent facial features like the eyes and chin are exaggerated. This isn't unusual in video games or virtual spaces, where designers are allowed to create any shape they want as the base, accentuating the features they feel are important for their platform.

SL gives us bodies which are roughly 8 heads tall or more. By contrast, basic drawing anatomy teaches us that humans are typically 7.5 heads tall. Numerically that may not seem like a huge difference, but the result is that Second Life avatars tend to display proportions similar to comic book heroes or fashion design. In a virtual world where you can be anything, we all want to be beautiful.

Which got me wondering if it was even possible to create a realistically proportional SL avatar and not have  it look weird. Here's what I came up with, alongside the default SL body and SL's Senra body.

"Realistic"

Default SL

Senra

Getting Old

 Another wanderer in SL hailed me to wish me a Happy Rezday. They were impressed that I've been around for 17 years, as if I needed a reminder that I am old. The intention was in good spirit though.

But seriously, 17 years. That's a long time to be playing a video game, and yet... something keeps me coming back. I still enjoy wandering about, taking the odd photo, meeting an odd SL denizen now and again. And these days, most of them are truly odd, young and old alike. No offense if you're reading this, but if you've been around for more than a few years, you know what I'm talking about. The oldest people are pushing 40 in RL, if not more. Fucking boomers, the lot of 'em. And the new kids are just weird. Like, what are you doing here? Go make friends, see the world. The real world. When the aches and pains of age set in you'll be thankful. But anyway.

Yeah, I'm seventeen in SL. I never played on the kiddie version, so you do the math. I am old. I never would have thought it would hold my attention that long.

So to celebrate, I decided it was time to put a new head on my shoulders, literally. A Lelutka head. Not that there was anything wrong with the old Catwa head, but it was feeling a bit dated, and all the kids are doing Lelutka now. I think. Maybe.

Regardless, I like the new look. I mean, I look pretty much the same as I always have, just with more pixels.

2006

2016

2023

Speaking of Voice

It seems that SL with voice is the latest buzz. I have thus far avoided it, and unless someone gives me good reason, I'll probably continue to to so. Don't get me wrong, I can understand the attraction: it potentially provides an additional depth to the way we interact in a digitally flattened world. A popular video parodies this single dimensionality well. Brillaintly funny, to me the most striking feature of the video is how free of aural clutter it is, the opposite of our real lives. And honestly, so much of Second life seems empty for this reason, even when you are surrounded by other avatars.

The problem I have is two-fold. First, Voice in SL inherently breaks the "secondness" of SL. Second Life is, for many, an escape from our various realities, and quite frankly, I'm not sure I want your voice echoing in my study. That might be too real. No offense, but I've assigned voices for all of you, and in some ways, I don't want to be disappointed. More on this point is spoken of in this Wired article (thanks Trinsic!).

The second, oft-overlooked problem with Voice are the very things that people crave: its ease and immediacy. Text chat is cumbersome. It takes time to get your ideas across. As a result, chatters generally have to embrace both efficiency and thoughtfulness to get their thoughts across effectively. For example, you don't see a whole lot of swearing in SL chat because for most people, swearing is just posturing or wasted breath. Sure, there are places where the language is more mature than others, but you don't get cases where every word typed by someone is "fuck" or some derivative. People are typically more careful about what they say because it takes more work to say it.

On top of that, I think people actually "listen" more in text chat. I can't actually state this from any position of experience regarding SL Voice, but contrasted with real life, it seems like people actually pay attention to whatever is typed. Maybe its because the written word carries so much weight for us. Or maybe because we carefully read type for subtle nuances, as it is devoid of the overt tonal emotional content of speech. Or maybe simply because you can go back and re-read text you might have missed or misunderstood on the first pass. In any case, when typing, it's nice to know that people actually hear me.

Stepping Out

I logged into the second world today for the first time in ages. Kieres mentioned a few weeks ago that he was retreating to the real world for a while. I've done the same, though not announced such till now. It wasn't a fully intentional disappearing act. Work has gathered a stranglehold on my life in the past month, company has come and gone, and little opportunities and mishaps have sprung up the way mushrooms do: with delicate beauty and just a little of that unsettling creepiness.

I logged on tonight mostly because I want to be alone but don't want to suffer loneliness. An odd thing to expect from SL, I guess, but it's true. My real space is filled with my peace, my cat, and my music, and yet still I can enjoy a connection to others (but still be able to cut it off with a mouse-click). Meh, I'm in a mood.

Anyhow, a few weeks away and the neighborhood goes to hell. "For Sale" signs spin everywhere. The good news is that I can see the water from my balcony again. The joys of SLurban blight.

Guess I'll wander for a bit. IM me if you're in the mood for a chat. Might be tormenting the cat though, so if I don't respond, don't take it personally.

Not-A-Meme Challenge #14

Dolmere Talamasca asks:

Today's not-a-meme challenge is a question about your usage patterns. This could be things you do when you login, things you do just before logging out, activities bordering on OCD, etc :)

"Do you have any Second Life usage habits?"

The first thing I always do is check to see who else is online. I don't always start an IM with others, but its nice to know I'm not alone.

The Second thing that I do is get dressed. I'm not sure why, but I refuse to let my avi wear the same thing twice in a row. When dressing, I usually try to pick something which reflects my mood and what I hope to be doing. Sometimes this is an easy process, accomplished quickly. My inventory is pretty well organized so I know where to find things usually. Unfortunately, I'm also indecisive as hell and I can easily spend half an hour just figuring out what shoes to wear.

The worst thing about this is that it fuels my SL shopping habit, because I often find that I don't have exactly the right shade of top to wear with the skirt. So it's off to the stores and ooooh look, they have a new dress on sale.

The sad thing is that there really isn't much variety in the way I dress.

The Other End of the Spectrum

Recently I've mentioned a few stores that are worthy of note not only for the products they carry, but also for the design of the space they use. All of them are highly polished, and despite their contrivance, they feel like places I'd like to visit in Real Life. In fact, they feel like places I have visited in RL.

On a whim, I decided to re-check out Unpopular Designs, run by Gabby Lime. Unpop is the origin of both my avi's glasses and my all-time favorite skirt, and I really like the unpredictably eclectic selection of clothes and accessories. While I was there I ran into Gabby, and she pointed me to her other shop, Tacky Shit.

Oh wow. Ms. Lime is a master of prim-work, but that's not what makes Tacky Shit amazing. Prim-wise, it's beyond simple. It's the textures that are frightening. Stepping into the building made me feel like stepping into a Neil Gaiman short story. The hand-drawn (scribbled might be a better word) doodles on notebook paper which make the walls and floor show more life than any Photoshopped version of reality. And looking out the front window is like looking upon the world not just through a child's eyes, but from his mind. Everything about the place takes me to the edge of... something, I'm not sure what. And I stare down into that depth without ever quite being pushed over, but wanting to be, all the same.

It makes me think that perhaps too much of Second Life tries to emulate our First ones.

Aly Revealed

Vint Falken has posted Not-A-Meme challenge #13, and as my friend Coyote so cleverly intuited, it is one that catches my attention. It's a two part challenge; the first part is to reveal something about my second self, and the second part is to reveal something about my first self. It's a very yin-yang sort of thing.

This assumes, of course, that there is a difference between the two. I sometimes wonder. Are we not but two faces on that which is Aly? My first life shapes my second. For example, I usually wear glasses in both. Though my Avatar presumably has 20/20 vision, she dons spectacles also in an expression of solidarity with her RL counterpart. And of course, my second life seems to shape my first, if by no other means than the sleep that I am deprived by my avi hanging around the Shelter until the wee hours. We are linked.

But distinct. I sometimes refer to my avatar in the 3rd person, as it is natural to do using the "/me" feature in chat. Speaking this way is not something I do in real life. Alyia dares to wear clothes that I would not. Some of her skirts are a tad shorter than I'd be comfortable walking around in, and exploring the world in high heels is definitely not something I'd do on a regular basis. She just makes it soooo effortless. Alyia's a graceful dancer and has better hair.

So what is a secret about this Alyia Coanda, a girl whose self proclaimed mission is to explore her world? She owns a motorcycle. I suppose this isn't a secret to some people, as apparently I've become a t-shirt posterchild for catsuit coolness.* But it's not something I generally tell people.

It's not that there's anything wrong with it. People buy things all the time, and this really is no different. I've even been assured that it is a beautiful bike and that she looks, well, damn good on it. The reasoning for the purchase was arguably legitimate: I bought it as a means to explore large areas of SL (though this hasn't worked terribly well due to the laggy nature of many sims). So neither I nor Alyia have reason to be embarrassed. Except that it is so ridiculously indulgent since I can simply fly and teleport where ever I want. But so can everyone else. Not everyone rides a cool black motorcycle around Second Life.

Admittedly, I bought the bike to look cool while I explore.

As for my First Life? This, as others who have taken the challenge have noted, is perhaps more difficult. For me the challenge doesn't really come out of some desire to be someone other than who I am. I wouldn't say that I necessarily try to keep my second and first lives separate; I'll respond to most questions if asked. The challenge is that I have a hard time believing that anything about my first life would be remotely interesting to anyone.

The most interesting thing about myself that I can think of is that I am full of contradictions, and that I relish them. Watch out. I am shy, but a shameless flirt. Other people annoy me, but I dislike being alone. I walk innocently, but my thoughts play in the gutter. I love the person I am, but I'm never satisfied with what I have become. Like a cat I reserve the right to change my mind a thousand times.

I don't think of myself as confused. Rather, I am right at home.

*Ask Coyote Pace.