On Second Thoughts

We design our virtual bodies, wear our virtual clothes, do virtual dances in virtual clubs. But the relationships, those are real. Real human souls interacting, emoting, and relating through this clumsy electronic medium. The dance may just be pixels on a screen, but when those pixels touch, it excites me. The words typed in chat linger in my brain.  So I come back for more. I stroll through your sim, listen to your music, wear your clothes. I return to this lifeless digital space to be with you. And yeah, it gets messy fast. Because once you transcend all the make believe, what is left is the real deal. Two human beings, physically distant, virtually close, and in spite of all that incongruency, connected. What a strange world.

I've been tinkering with my shape. Again. I'm not sure why, but I've spent a ridiculous amount of time tweaking sliders. Do other people do this? I dunno. Anyway, one thing that has bugged me for a very long time about SL is how hard it is to create a good looking avatar. A lot of the difficulty comes from the way that the SL interface is designed, but it's also due to the limitations of the model that SL uses as well as how the 3D engine renders that model. I'm not saying Linden Labs did a bad job, because 3D modeling is complex. They did make choices, however, and not all of those choices were to optimize the user experience. One of the first choices that becomes apparent is that the "default" avatar is SL's own stylization of a human figure. Legs and bodies tend to be taller in relation to the head, and prominent facial features like the eyes and chin are exaggerated. This isn't unusual in video games or virtual spaces, where designers are allow...

 Another wanderer in SL hailed me to wish me a Happy Rezday. They were impressed that I've been around for 17 years, as if I needed a reminder that I am old. The intention was in good spirit though. But seriously, 17 years. That's a long time to be playing a video game, and yet... something keeps me coming back. I still enjoy wandering about, taking the odd photo, meeting an odd SL denizen now and again. And these days, most of them are truly odd, young and old alike. No offense if you're reading this, but if you've been around for more than a few years, you know what I'm talking about. The oldest people are pushing 40 in RL, if not more. Fucking boomers, the lot of 'em. And the new kids are just weird. Like, what are you doing here? Go make friends, see the world. The real world. When the aches and pains of age set in you'll be thankful. But anyway. Yeah, I'm seventeen in SL. I never played on the kiddie version, so you do the math. I am old. I never wo...

It seems that SL with voice is the latest buzz. I have thus far avoided it, and unless someone gives me good reason, I'll probably continue to to so. Don't get me wrong, I can understand the attraction: it potentially provides an additional depth to the way we interact in a digitally flattened world. A popular video parodies this single dimensionality well. Brillaintly funny, to me the most striking feature of the video is how free of aural clutter it is, the opposite of our real lives. And honestly, so much of Second life seems empty for this reason, even when you are surrounded by other avatars. The problem I have is two-fold. First, Voice in SL inherently breaks the "secondness" of SL. Second Life is, for many, an escape from our various realities, and quite frankly, I'm not sure I want your voice echoing in my study. That might be too real. No offense, but I've assigned voices for all of you, and in some ways, I don't want to be disappoint...

I logged into the second world today for the first time in ages. Kieres mentioned a few weeks ago that he was retreating to the real world for a while. I've done the same, though not announced such till now. It wasn't a fully intentional disappearing act. Work has gathered a stranglehold on my life in the past month, company has come and gone, and little opportunities and mishaps have sprung up the way mushrooms do: with delicate beauty and just a little of that unsettling creepiness. I logged on tonight mostly because I want to be alone but don't want to suffer loneliness. An odd thing to expect from SL, I guess, but it's true. My real space is filled with my peace, my cat, and my music, and yet still I can enjoy a connection to others (but still be able to cut it off with a mouse-click). Meh, I'm in a mood. Anyhow, a few weeks away and the neighborhood goes to hell. "For Sale" signs spin everywhere. The good news is that I can see the water fro...

Dolmere Talamasca asks: Today's not-a-meme challenge is a question about your usage patterns. This could be things you do when you login, things you do just before logging out, activities bordering on OCD, etc :) "Do you have any Second Life usage habits?" The first thing I always do is check to see who else is online. I don't always start an IM with others, but its nice to know I'm not alone. The Second thing that I do is get dressed. I'm not sure why, but I refuse to let my avi wear the same thing twice in a row. When dressing, I usually try to pick something which reflects my mood and what I hope to be doing. Sometimes this is an easy process, accomplished quickly. My inventory is pretty well organized so I know where to find things usually. Unfortunately, I'm also indecisive as hell and I can easily spend half an hour just figuring out what shoes to wear. The worst thing about this is that it fuels my SL shopping habit, because I often find that...

Recently I've mentioned a few stores that are worthy of note not only for the products they carry, but also for the design of the space they use. All of them are highly polished, and despite their contrivance, they feel like places I'd like to visit in Real Life. In fact, they feel like places I have visited in RL. On a whim, I decided to re-check out Unpopular Designs, run by Gabby Lime. Unpop is the origin of both my avi's glasses and my all-time favorite skirt, and I really like the unpredictably eclectic selection of clothes and accessories. While I was there I ran into Gabby, and she pointed me to her other shop, Tacky Shit . Oh wow. Ms. Lime is a master of prim-work, but that's not what makes Tacky Shit amazing. Prim-wise, it's beyond simple. It's the textures that are frightening. Stepping into the building made me feel like stepping into a Neil Gaiman short story. The hand-drawn (scribbled might be a better word) doodles on notebook paper which...